Healing Mother - Power Issues

April 14th, 2009

Q:  I’ve discovered how I give too much power to my mother. So I was using the power retrieval technique you suggested on her. Then I got very sick for a couple of days. It felt like it was a bacteria or a parasite kind of thing in my gut and also a kidney issue. I called my mother to check in on how she was doing and how my power retrieval may have worked. That’s when I found out that at the same time I had been doing this energy work with her, she had been in the hospital! What’s more, they found she was having problems with her kidneys and lungs! She’s got go through all sorts of tests now.

Galexis:  You know what that tells us. You are still taking on your mother’s stuff. She’s a mirror for you, and you’re still letting her be the reference point to your life. You have been living much of your life around her needs and feelings. This gives your power away to her. It’s time for you to be the reference point around which you live your life, and life a life that’s all yours.

Your mother doesn’t need you to carry her or be sustained energetically by you. You may be keeping her here hanging onto life by taking her stuff onto you. Are you aware that you made an emotional, psychic agreement with her? You said, “Oh please, Mother Dear, love me, appreciate me, and value me so I will survive. And be happy, so I can be happy too. And in exchange, I will take on some of your sad stuff, your pain.”

This is what pets often do for their owners. That’s why a person’s cat, dog, or bird will die of cancer years before their owners are found to have the disease. They gave their humans the gift of extra years by taking on their disease. It’s a great gift of love, service and sacrifice.

But you didn’t come this time to be a pet for your mother, or to sacrifice yourself for others. You’ve been there, done that - in this lifetime and in others where that was just the way it was, and it was right, for then. But this time, you’re breaking all the molds. And the place to break your most powerful mold is with your mother. Because one way or another, you let her be the template for you. How she approached life, you approached life. And you have sustained that template, making her the reference point for you, by alleviating her issues and giving her your power.

Q:  Yes. So much is coming up and getting clearer. I see how many of my beliefs around money I’ve taken on from her. For example, she sees people who have money as rich jerks. And I found myself saying, “Wow! I can totally let go of this!” And you know what? I’m going to become a rich jerk without the jerk part. It’s mind blowing to see all of these things in this light, around this issue with my power.

 Galexis:  Right, and this is leading up to a point where you become the reference point for you. And she’s no longer being your template. Then you are her equal, and in your power. Once there, you will be able to have true compassion for her. Right now, it’s hard for you to hold compassion for her. You still take too much of what she does personally, energetically and subconsciously.

You and she still have these strong subconscious links where you automatically let her feed on you. You’ve been sound asleep and she is feeding on your energy. It’s the arrangement you set up. And you never got the payment for it that you expected.

Q:  Right. Right. She never did come around and really see who I am or love me.

 Galexis:  Yes, all those wonderful, meaningful things that makes the relationship beautiful. Before you came here, you decided not to have that in this lifetime, so you could lift beyond that type of limitation. It’s a rough way to go. The one who channels us (Ginger) also had this type of situation with her mother. Every process that she had to work on, every issue she struggled with, went straight back to her relationship with her mother.

When she finally got clear how she was taking on her mother’s physical ailments and living her life in her mother’s shadow, she broke the agreement with her mother. She took back her power and let her mother be free. Immediately, the relationship between them started to shift and change. They were soon able to express their love for each other, without conditions. And then her mother suddenly died of a stroke. It was as if her mother was hanging on, waiting to finish this with her. That’s when she realized and felt that the two of them were finally done.

ow realize, she didn’t shorten her mother’s life. Her mother was ninety-five, for heaven’s sake, and really had nothing particularly to look forward to or even life for. It was that she finally reached that place where she no longer had to diminish her light for anybody, including her mother.

Once you come to that empowered place, you won’t feel inclined to hide your light any longer. You won’t get the subconscious or knee-jerk urge to do it any more, either. Every time you’ve grown, especially with your power, your mother is the one that you practice with. Why? Because she has been your reference point as to whether you are growing or not, powerful or not, healthy or not - or whatever it is. You always have used her as your comparison or measurement. Do you realize that every time you interacted with her, you would ask yourself, “Okay, how did I do this time?”

Q: Yes.

Galexis:  She’s your feedback. As a powerful light being, one of the greatest gifts you can give her is to take her off that program. You see, she doesn’t know what to do with your power. On some level, she knows she’s getting it from you, but it doesn’t really do anything for her.

The impact of your arrangement is that it helps her maintain some of her issues, because she doesn’t or can’t see them clearly. She doesn’t even see her impact with other people clearly because you’re pulling energy off the situations. You’re muting it, buffering it for her - carrying it on yourself. You’re not her little pet dog, you see?

So at this point you’re moving into a phase, where in a very short period of time - probably when you talk with her about her test results and everything like that - you’ll be talking to her adult to adult, friend to friend. You’re not going to be looking anymore, “Oh, does mommy love me? Is mommy going to be nice to me this time, or is she going to be really weird and unpleasant?” You won’t be anticipating her weirdness or unpleasantness.

Q:  That’s sounds freeing.

Galexis:  It is, because in the past, she could just change in an instant, couldn’t she? And you had to be careful, on guard and prepared to deal with whatever came up. And those fears you felt about her reactions were the mirrors, the feedback that you set up for her to reflect to her her impact. She didn’t know what to do with that psychic feedback. She’s never been on the spiritual growth track as you have.

So realize, Dear One. When you are done with her, you really won’t have the same issues any more. They will shift into something very different. This is a major part of your personal transition into the new reality - a very powerful, primal step.

When you have taken your power back from her and removed her as the reference point of your life, you’ll be able to love her freely. See, right now, you don’t love her freely. You love her with conditions all over it, and you’re tiptoeing on eggshells to see whether you can love her or not.

Q:  Oh, wow. That’s true.

Galexis:  Realize that all that will be gone. You’ll be open, “yourself,” and can relax with her.  At the same time, you know there are certain things that you will never be able to tell her about yourself, because she can’t or won’t understand. But it will be okay. Tell her stuff she can hear. Now your inner child or adolescent may be all upset about this. They may protest, “But, but, this is not the relationship I want! I want this ideal mother-daughter relationship. And she needs to really acknowledge who I am.” And they’ll go on and on like this.

What if those child and adolescent voices aren’t there any more? And so what if she doesn’t see who you are? You know who you are, and as long as you can see who she is, you are fine. That’s what matters. And you can see that she does love you. It’s just that the way she expresses it does not suit your inner adolescent self. That teenager self makes a huge trip out of judging mother.

And now your adult self is saying, “There’s no need to judge her anymore. She’s just who she is - a person with a beautiful spirit, a beautiful soul. And yes, she has her issues and she has her stuff and I have compassion for that. I’m not getting sucked into it any more. I just love her the way she is.” If you can love your mother the way she is, then you are free of the issue of needing her to love you the way you are, and that will lift you out of the cycle.

And whenever she dies, whether sooner or later, you won’t feel guilty that you somehow didn’t love her good enough or didn’t take on enough of her pain. In fact, your mother may choose to leave sooner because now she doesn’t have to be engaged in your growing process! She’ll be free to leave when she’s ready.

And you will find that you won’t need to mourn her leaving. It’s not that you will desire her to go - not at all. Mourning for a parent is that period of time where people usually process their unresolved emotions from the relationship. You will feel the loss in your life, and experience the emptiness or void her absence has brought you. But when you are healed emotionally, you’ll be at peace within yourself, so you can celebrate her memory, her life, and her love. It will be a healthy release.

If she died this very minute, you’d still have some stuff left to do. Your inner child and adolescent would feel cheated on one hand – she never fulfilled their hopes for the ideal parental love you have been waiting for – or guilty, thinking that they did something wrong yet again. So you’d have some work to do with them. And perhaps you’d feel the huge hole her death would be in a heavy way.

You see, with your mother still your reference point, you would feel terribly lost without her responses, her judgments, and her beliefs about your life. You’d have a big job to do, re-orienting to your whole life! But you’re at the place now where you can see the bigger picture between you and her, and you can let her be herself. Then when she goes, your inner child and adolescent won’t be panicky as they would be right now. You won’t have to deal with their stresses, on top of your own.

You see, a lot of people, particularly in the metaphysical community, are embarrassed about still having to work with mommy and daddy issues. They think “By now, we should have been done with them long ago. When are we ever going to get free of them? Will we ever get further along and truly become the powerful and free spiritual beings we want to be? We’re still limited by what happened decades ago!” They see themselves somehow as not yet successful, and they don’t know why. They’re frustrated because they aren’t aware that their reference points are still their parents, or have been transferred to other people, such as their mates or even children. Until people take their reference points back to themselves, they will never see themselves or know themselves as truly empowered beings.

But as you now take back your power, your reference point, from your mother, your personal mission is becoming complete as you assume your spiritual adulthood. You’ll find your way into your future and your success, no problem. You will, of course, have to stay aware of your reference point. The clue is - anytime you’re concerned about what others think or feel about you, and you base your feelings and actions on that -  you are using them as reference points for you. And you lose your intuition or inner knowing you have inside about who they are and how to respond accurately and lovingly.

You see, as long as you use other people as your reference points, all that you are going to see in them are reflections of yourself and your issues that you must deal with. So you’ll attract to yourself other people with issues that you will have to do something about. They will be mirrors for you, reminding you that you aren’t done with taking your power!

Now if you use yourself as the reference point, paying attention to what you feel, think and know, you’ll find you can relate better to other people. You will be more comfortable with whatever reactions or responses they have to you. You won’t take what they do or say personally, and you’ll have compassion for them. With your intuition, you can accurately tune into them, understand them and know where they are coming from. You can then treat them with great love, care and respect.

And what’s best is that you’ll be relaxed and open with other people and simultaneously feel very safe in being yourself. This freedom will feel simply marvelous! Your daily life will be one of great power, love, and freedom.

To heal issues with your Mother, or any other close Family Member, or to learn more about resolving conflicts with your Family, and to have a powerful meditation to help you on the way, purchase the Galexis workshop "Healing Your Relationship with Your Family."  To order a copy click here.